in a time of disturbance in saigon + trouble of mind / poems by the phong (uplifting poems/ dai nam van hien books, saigon 1971 -- this edition ; jan, 2012/ hcm city)
uplifting poems
published by dai nam van hien books,
saigon 1961-- hcm city 2012
translated by DAM XUAN CAN
In a time of Disturbance in Saigon
the phong
1
It was noon,
A big crowd in Saigon looked up
The sun was turning purple,
green,
yellow
Buddha was shedding tears
I looked up too
what was is happening
(People sure talking of the age old prophetic of Trạng Trình ...)
I was a misty morning in Dalat
The pilgrims
from anywhere
were climbing Lang Biang Heights
A story was spreading
any disease could be cured
by fire and incense
Standing at the top
I looked at the swarming crowd
True,
our life today was too tiring
people would go anywhere for some help
all of us were as the edge of an unfathomable abyss ...
Oh my girl student I met by chance
What do you have
if it' s not love my dear
We need many things
a hell of a lot of things
things will be worse
before they are better
Love is a pressing as freedom
from hunger and thirst
without it my life is a nullity, a void ...
I hope
you' ll share my faith in our land
Our faith in the future of each of us
You' ll be back
you' ll be with me
Love
real love
is what we need
I' ts all we ever need
This shabby land
should be destroyed by fire or by water or both
We' ll build the sun anew
once the river had flown
it will be never roll back same again.
Oct. 30, 2963
Yes,
predestined encounter
I was hunted by you
week after week
Now in hot, sweaty Saigon
my heart is still in cool Dalat
I am thankful for all that
even if I am stripped of possessions
O would give all
for that precious encounter
(When we shared our companion for our wretched land
it really uplifted me)
How I hope
to see again
2
I was right
Saigon was as sad as a graveyard
Alas,
poor people were making love
even when they had empty bellies
I had been without a woman
for a long,
long time
So at night
I kept thinking of strange words ...
An eighteen year old girl
talked of sex
as expertly as a doctor
Even when she was only a hairdresser
"My being at home
at night
was not necessary
My stepfather
would try to seduce me
he was a horrible man ...
I want to follow my love
who has never pressed about marriage
As far as Dalat to pass the night together
We will be warm,
we will be cold
And forget
all, all, all ...
I want to follow any man
I am thinking of dead young men
who will never come back
My presence
in the family
at night
is not necessary at all."
3
My mates
have gone
I am left alone
in this dark, mean place
Where has the red sun gone
I have not seen
the student again
Now I am worrying
where will my next meal come from
Life is so difficult
a small cup of coffee
has become a luxury
Apart from this
I cannot believe what I read
what I am told
I' m so miserable
I have no tears left
(The people in the West re so mature)
We are so childish
in spite of our long history
We are so weak
we depend on outside aid too much
We are so immature
we dare not have cool look
at ourselves
(Anyway my simple remedy is as follows)
Let us take care of ourselves
we are sick of advice
no counsel no nothing
let us refuse any aid as long as we are not equals
(Two lovers who share the same bed
but have different dreams
would do better to part)
Just let us
live on our own
So that we can be ourselves
It is noon
The people of Saigon are looking at the sun
They wait
All of us wait.
Saigon, Oct. 30, 1963
Trouble of Mind
I'm troubled when you are by y side
It' s a good thing -- then I don' t feel any sadness
I feel as young as an eighteen year old boy
When I look at myself in your bright eyes
You' re off today,
I am alone in this highland
Everything is mute,
not sound is heard
my soul is following you
I only hope there will be moments you think of me
I known
I know
you' re just a plain girl
But I cannot put you out of my mind
Late noon
the car moves up the slope
I' m standing here
feeling the future hold for us
When you' re with me I forget all,
all,
all.
I forget the wretched land which is ours
I forget all,
all /
all ?
It' s raining
It' s raining hard and strong
I' m sleeping soundly
O my girl now
that you' re over nineteen.
Dalat, 1963
THE PHONG
(p. 80- 87 Uplifting Poems)
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