SUFFERINGS IN HUAN LIFE By THANH THƯƠNG HOÀNG
English translation by NGUYEN THANH CHUONG
Published in USA - 2017
THANH THƯƠNG HOÀNG [I.E. NGUYEN THANH CHIEU 1930 - ]
"... The author was accused o doing reactionary newspapers and was kept in Vietnamese Communist Re-education
Camps for almost 10 years starting in April 1976. Under the protection of the following organizations: en Club,
Press Union, Vietnamese and International Huma Rights. POW Family Protective Commitee that intervened in defence,
he was released and resetled in the U.S. in May of 1999. He now lives in California."
14 -- PHONG GECKO *
By THANH THƯƠNG HOÀNG
English Translation By NGUYEN THANH CHUONG
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* PHONG GECKO: like a greco, Phong can flexibly change his political attitude in various surroundings to exist.
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I haven' t gone to the crowded place for a long time because I wanted to follow the gist of ancient people's saying: "The vicissitudes of life shouldn' t be inquired." ( You shouldn' t ask why life goes up and down.) It is due in part to old age and incessant sickness so when I sit in front of the computer I feel lazy and get bored with writing even though it is my profession. Am I possibly at the end of my tether? I haven' t written any sentence for a year. As usual, when Tết Festival is coming, some editors often remind me to write an article for their spring' s issue. I can' t say no but I don' t know what to write. Luckily, I ran across Minh, a friend of mine, who just came back after making a trip to enjoy New Years 's Day in Saigon. After chatting and enquiring about friends, Mr. Minh talked about everything on earth: the politics, the Communist Party members contended for interests etc ... (I 'm fed up with hearing sucht hings) I reminded him discreetly:
- I know all of the important national issues from newspapers or internet. I just want to hear some-
thing interesting about you or your friends in Vietnam.
Mr. Minh laughed:
- O, there a lot of funny and sad stories.
- Suddenly he paused and looked at me as if he remembered something:
- Well, you're dragging information out of me because you lack topics to write. That' s all right!
Mr. Minh took a mouthful of coffee and tapped his fingers on the foreheads as if he was trying to bring the past events to his mind.
- I' ll tell you what I can remember, everything is true. First, the story of a guy who isn' t intimate to you and me. Do you remember Phong? He' s always called "Phong Gecko" by friends. It took me some minutes to "find" this guy in my memory. More than ten years ago, he stayed with me in the "re-education camp" in desolate highland. Up to now, I haven' t known his occupation before 1995 ow why he was put into prison. To his boastful words, he was an officer of the South Vietnamese army ( his rank wasn' t mentioned) and he evaded reporting to the communist authorities. But someone told me that he was jobless but set himself up as poet cum and artist. When the communists seized the South, he wore a new pair of black jyjamas, put a small aper flag of the front for liberation os Southern Vietnam on the handle bar, rode a bike backwards and forwards the former Parliament house in order to intimidate the "puppet people" and flattered the comrades coming from the maquis. later on, he was put into prison by the communists for being a leader of an organization regaining the country's independence. (That was what he disclosed to his relatives.) In prison, he acted as a mole, toadied to the jailers and gave bad reports of prisoners. But when the jailers were absent from the prison, he ground his teeth, angrily widened his eyes and swore to us that he negated the existence of the common ground with the communists and resolved to take avenge on them in the future. After being released from prison some years later, he fled across the border and settled down in the U.S. He lived in a town (near my town) where few Vietnamese were living and was elected a certain position in the community board for achievements in cursing communists. Once in a while, I saw him in the newspapers going down the street to male a demonstration with boastful statements that they would liberate the country some day. Then he has no longer appeared in public for a long time. Actually he came back to Vietnam and delayed "the oversea struggle". I thought he came back to Vietnam possibly to cooperate with "domestic democratists" to "fight against communists in the communists controlled area."
I hoped my friend would tell me something about his achievements. Supprisingly, Mr. Minh uttered a profound sigh and let out groans:
- It was so boring with this guy. One day, I unexpectedly met him in Saigon at a coffee shop of an oversea mediocre singer. He looked sad and dejected like a bag of bones. He wasn 't bastful to tell me his stories of having sex with prostitutes.
I said:
- That' s not special at all. Most "oversea Vietnamese" come back to Vietnam with such a purpose to "take avenge on communists".
- That 's right, but it is abnormal that he had sex with a girl aged 14 or 15, the same age with his grand children.
- It' s not worth hearing such trifles.
- Oh, it is. After taking a Viagra, he went to bed with that girl. You know the impotence is a common incurable disease for every man at the age of 70. He "laboriously drew on his internal strength" for a long while but his "cock" still disobeyed his "order". So after more than half an hour, he achieved no result and got very angry with his impotence. The girl was sympathetic and said with a compassionate voice: "Poor old man! I' m so sorry not to help you with anything! When the girl just stopped saying, instead of showing his compassion, the "exp-authority figure of the community board" gave her a hard slap across the face and ... spoke foul language unavailable in the dictionary to vent his anger on her. It was thought that she would retaliate him with dirty swear words of the prostitutes' circle but she buried her face in her hand and wept. Then she raised her head with a face in tears and said:
- What wrong did I do / Wy did you beat me like that?
Phong Gecko shrieked:
- Yeah! I beat you as I I take revenge on my enemies. Beating you on the face doesn' t make any difference from beating my face. I get angry with myself, with you and with this damn society.
Finishing his words. Phong Gecko put on his clothes and angrily stepped out of the room dis-regrading her wide eyes looking at him. What did she think of the bawdyhouse customer who was as old as her grand father?
- So this is the end of a rubbish life story?
- No. That is the story of his journey to Vietnam to "take avenge on communists". The next part remains long.
- Is it as long as from Vietnam to America and from America to Vietnam?
- Perhaps it' s longer because he' s still alive so his story isn' t finished.
&
Some days later, I ran acrossed Mr. Minh again in a street café where old men who settled down in the US via the HO program often gathered. They met together to chat in order to kill the time, especially lessen their sadness in the refugee life. Mr. Minh invited me to take a seat and introduced me to some unfamiliar old men. Mr. Minh tapped the man on the shoulder, who was puffing at a cigarette with strong acrid smoke, and said:
- This is the one I told you about his "glorious achievements" some days ago. Don' t you recognize him? I turned out to be that this is Phong Gecko. I didn' t recognize him because I haven' t seen him for ages. Moreover, he looked so emaciated with bristling beard and thin gray hair showing scalp full of dranduff. He came to my town toi attend a certain meeting of an organisation or a fellow countryman meeting. After recognizing me, he smiled impudently and said:
- It' s rumoured that you' ve been so lucky in love and you have an affair with loads of "chicks"?
I felt uneasy but I had to restrain myself and answered:
- Yes, I just got married.
He said noisily:
- Oh my god! Getting married at the age of 80 is to put your legs in shackles till you die. How stupid you are! As for me, I just pay for sex without any annoyance. I can have sex with American, Mexi-
can, Korean, Chinese, Filipino ...
- Perhaps you have the same age with me, right? I heard you harbored a grudge of love after coming back from Vietnm.
Phong Gecko shouted:
- That' s all balony! The communist henchmen distorded and disgraced me to lower my prestige in the next election. Wait and see. Their dirty records are crammed in my pocket. This time, such beasts in human form living on the US welfare and the ass kissers upon communists "to get some of their leftovers" will be unmasked. Ha ha! They all will deserve a heavy punishment when hurting my honor.
Phong Gecko' s voice was so loudly that somebody sitting nearby was curious to look at him; therefore he got inspired to say more loudly. Everyone sitting there knew this anti-communists loud mouthed guy with his trips to Vietnam to "take avenge on communists" and finally had top harbor a grudge after coming back to the US.
Phong Gecko, the politics activist, hurled lot of words which were improper to write down here.
When he stopped saying, I saw somebody sitting nearby push their seats hard and angrily walked away. "Phong Gecko" gave a cult laugh and said:
- There! They' re cowards. They quickly run away when hearing something involving themselves>
Suddenly, one of them turned round to look daggers at him and said angrily:
- What have you just said? What the hell have you just said?
Both of them quarreled and pulled at their shirt fronts hard, everybody gathered to prevent them for fighting. I guessed a duel was going ta tke place and I sneaked to avoid unexpected troubles.
After a long time about a year late, Phong Gecko, the "politician", was almost forgotten. One day, I ran across him in the refectory of a charity organization which was established to help the homeless and I was invited to come write an article. Actually, I couldn' t recognize him if nobody tell me who he was. He didn' t look different from a real homeless guy with a skeletal figure. His clothes were shabby and dirty, his beard and hair looked like "blades of thin withered grass" growing on his face.
Perhaps he was ashamed and quickly turned his head away when recognizing me. I really didn' t know why the "politician" became a mere wreck life that. I still had some doubts about him; therefore I had to meet Mr. Minh to get the answer t any cost. I met Mr. Minh in a small restaurant on the year and occasion when everyone was ready to welcome Têt Festival. Mr. Minh said right away:
- Life story is so woeful, man. It' s very sad to talk about it!
- I met him ...
Mr. Minh gave a sickly smile and asked:
- Did you meet him in the refectory serving the homeless?
And then Mr. Minh said ata long stretch:
- As I told you something about him at the previous time. After a trip to Vietnam to" take avenge on communists", he came back to the US, volunteered to sacrifice his life for serving the Vietnamese community and ran for election of the community council. But everyone in the community knew his true face and boycotted him. He just not nearly one hundred votes in the election. Being disappointed and discontented he began to utter outrageous insults and plundered the community nad then vanished. Actually, he returned to Vietnam. I have no longer concerned about him since then obn. But a friend of mine (and also of his) "forced" me to think of him. My friend sent me an Email with the original text as follows: Phong Gecko is really bad. He lives on the US social welfare but when coming back to Vietnam, he bragged that he was the owner of some busy restaurants, earned tens of thousand dollars each month to hook middle aged women as he often did in the US. These gullible women provided money, love for him and pampered him in the hope that they would settle down in the American paradise. After living comfortably for a time, he was revealed. It was a matter of course that he was booted out of the house. And then there was another comedy of life. In an art exhibition displaying Vietnamese painters' works with lots of well off visitors, Phong Gecko also came there with his planned purpose. He was boastful to everyone that he was a famous artist and his paintings were well sold for foreign admirers. Some twenties of his paintings were sold our just in a day. One of the listeners was a middle age woman with heavy make up, valuable gem bracelets on her wrists nad lots of diamond rings on her fingers. She showed her deep admiration or "the artist". A short time later, she "brought him home": That a nice villa in center of Saigon. After a time living with her, Phong Gecko knew she was a wife of a communist high ranking official involved in lots corruptions. Her husband was living with his young girl friend. He didn 't dare to get a divorce because he was afraid of being accused by his wife. Both of them conspired to transfer their possessions abroad in order to avoid great misfortunes struck by their comrades. This female plutocrat wanted to make use of Phong Gecko as a fake husband to settle in the USA in the category of marriage. Being away from the miserable path in life, Phong Gecko enjoyed a comfortable life freely but didn' t have sexual intercourse with her. She just wanted to get the official papers to settle in the USA. On a nice day, taking advantage of her good mood, Phong Gecko expressed his opinion about the money for the paperwork in Vietnam as well as in the US. She shrugged her shoulders and said:" Oh! It' s no big deal. You can carry on this nd don' t worry about the cost. " Phong Gecko thrilled with joy. So he would have a sum of money soon and his life would become happy right away. One day, she felt inspired and wanted Phong Gecko to draw a half length portrait of her hung in the living room. He was soaked in beady sweat. He used to ask some artists he knew top teach him to draw jumbled pictures of horses, dogs or countryside scenery in order to deceive some "affectedly naive middle aged women". How could he draw a person, especially a portrait? But "a lie begets a lie." He screwed his courage and asked her to sit as a model for nearly ten successive days. When she showed her the finished picture, she was cheerful ta take it. Suddenly, she grimaced, widened her eyes angrily, flied into a fury and screamed shrilly: "What the hell did you draw?"It is human face or a monkey' s ? Is my face like this? Did you play a trick on me? You deceived me. I didn' t believe somebody' s words, now I know you' re an abjectly poor one returning to Vietnam to rook some old women who walked out on their husbands. Get out of my house or I' ll call the police to handcuff you right away. You,m brazen face! You, rascal!" Finishing her words, she threw the picture onto the floor. Thereupon, Phong Gecko, the unwilling artist, was booted out of her house without leniency. While being forlorn in life, he didn' t know where to go and then he received the bad news from his daughter living in the US: His supplemental security income and medicare benefits were cut off by the Social Security Department. Being in danger of poverty, disease and hopelessness, he had to be shameless to come to Han, the plutocrat, to ask for help. Do you remember Han? He was a planted communist in Saigon before 1975. Now he retired. Although having followed the Party in poverty for many years, Han still believed in the Party faithfully and blindly. He bore a vindictive hatred for us when he knew we had a much better living standard than his. Later on,when the tricky plan of land clearance reached a peak, he became a plutocrat through his crafty tricks in business. Phong gecko found out the way of Han 's house from his friend's instructions. On behalf of a former friend, he implored han to help "the one living in misery" with the reason that he was robbed of this wealth by groups of fellow countrymen living in the US. In order to flatter Han, Phong Gecko spoke ill of the oversea Vietnamese community. Han told me that Phong Gecko praised him and the communist government to the skies ns convicted the oversea Vietnamese severely. He said he was disgusted at the US earthly hell and Vietnamese traitors. Now he showed his determination to come home back to be dead in his beloved country. All of a sudden, Han who got the opportunity to become rich from his clans got angry and cursed: "You fled away from the country in order to search for freedom because the communists were cruel and dictorial. Now you said you came home back to be dead in the beloved country. This country isn' t a burial ground or an abandoned cemetery for you to bring you mere wreck eliminated by imperialists to get a piece of land to be buried. Clear off! Don' t be here to smudge our eyes !
Mr. Minh paused a moment to sigh with relief, took a mouthful of coffee and continued:
- Being forsaken and despised by everybody in Vietnam, Phong Gecko had to take his way back to the US. He really deserved it! When coming back to America, he performed a tragedy that he had a heart disease and was on the point of death in order to inspire the pity from his wife, his children and girl friend. His wife bore a bitter resentment against him and that was the right time for her to take revenge on him. After abusing and cursing him badly, she booted him out of the house. When imploring help from his daughter, he just received her cold words: "We' re jobless so we can' t take care of you. You should come to your girl friend who used to support you to ask for help."And his girl friend wad phlegmatic because she had another boyfriend. Finally, he knocked on his friend' s door to complain about his terrible plight. His friend was moved and let him stay at his house for some days. In the next morning when sitting for coffee, his friend heard him express his personal feelings: His purpose of returning to Vietnam ws that he wanted to be buried or cremated when he passed away. His friend got angry and said: " People come to America to live not to die. Get out of my house right away. I don' t want to shelter the smelly dead body in my house any longer."
Mr. Minh stopped saying and gazed at me as if he was waiting for my opinion. I was silent.
Suddenly, Mr. Minh laughed loudly:
- Well, my dear friend. That is the theme for you to write on Têt' s issue under the title " Phong Gecko". At the present time, I think there are lots of such people like Phong Gecko in our commu-nities. Goodbye for now. I have to prepare a trip to Las Vegas to enjoy Têt with my family. ./.
THANH THƯƠNG HOÀNG
( p. 225- 238 )
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